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Yo, Blair

By Rogerborg (Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 07:33:18 AM EST) (all tags)

Waaazzzzzzzzuuuuuup?

Working from home again. I am leaning back in my Captain's Chair, feet up, in a pleasantly warm and blessedly silent and odour-free room, with the fan blowing gently over my nude[1] body, while eating, quite lidderally, a bowl of cherries. Farmgirl is flouncing and bouncing around barefoot and pregnancy-boobed, and Mr Rogerborglet is skulking somewhere, most likely scheming. Bless him. Due to the recent housing refinancing and paying down of this and that, I also have enough money in the bank right now that I could, if I so chose, not work for the next two years. That is a very, very tempting prospect at this moment.

SNAP back to reality.

Anyway, we've got this guy at work. He's a fat greasy fork tongued scheming lazy thieving scally, the kind that asked us to deny all knowledge of his existence to anyone identifying themselves as Vladimir, Big Tam, or an agent of Her Majesty's Inland Revenue[2], who slacked like a trouper from day one, always with excuses ready to hand. In the past, we've caught him swiping hippycode, stripping the copyrights and trying to pass it off as his own, when it took about 30 seconds to google on some of the painfully obvious originalAnd_Idiomatic_symbolsInIt to find the source. He slimed his way out of that one, and has buck passed and hand waved his way around delivering, so far as I can determine, anything at all in the two years he's been here.

He's leaving on Friday.

To become a minister in the Church of Jockland.

He is, needless to say, my new god.

[1] I'm not naked; the bowl of cherries adds sufficient artistic merit to render me nude.

[2] Two out of three of these are 100% Certified True.

< I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

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Yo, Blair | 33 comments (33 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

Farmgirl barefoot and pregnant by wiredog (4.00 / 3) #1 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 07:48:10 AM EST

That's what I like about you Scots. You're respect for the old and traditional ways as laid out in ~~the Koran by Allah~~ the Old Testament by Jehovah.

Earth First!
_{(We can strip mine the rest later.)}

sitting while naked by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 3) #2 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 07:51:28 AM EST

I assume this is a chair destined for the fire?

Something about programming shops being the new monastaries where young men can maintain a celibate, non-showering lifestyle before entering the priesthood.

---
Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline

Leather by Rogerborg (4.00 / 3) #5 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 08:26:55 AM EST

Wipable, assuming that I can peel myself off of it.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

I just threw up by blixco (4.00 / 4) #22 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 11:42:35 AM EST

a little, in my mouth.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]

I hear pain meds can have that effect. by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #26 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 12:10:28 PM EST

Earth First!
_{(We can strip mine the rest later.)}
[ Parent ]

At least it was only your mouth. by mrgoat (4.00 / 2) #28 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 01:29:08 PM EST

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--
[ Parent ]

And not by blixco (4.00 / 2) #29 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 01:32:20 PM EST

someone else's as well?
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]

That was my intention. by mrgoat (4.00 / 2) #31 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 02:54:33 PM EST

I mean, I guess it would be bad if you threw up a little in your ass, too, I just wasn't thinking that way.

You sick fuck. Why would you even imagine that!? Sheesh, the guy gets his back fixed, and suddenly he's regurgitating into his own rectum.

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--
[ Parent ]

Does that mean I'm fixed? by blixco (4.00 / 2) #32 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 03:31:19 PM EST

Or broken?
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]

: flexible. by mrgoat (4.00 / 2) #33 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 03:39:20 PM EST

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--
[ Parent ]

Hippy by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #3 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 07:54:34 AM EST

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

You are honour-bound by komet (4.00 / 3) #4 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 08:12:08 AM EST

to swipe his laptop and tweak his hosts file so that when he opens google, it ends up on a server controlled by you which will then intercept searches for sermons etc. and deliver specially tailored fake sermons for him to plagiarise.

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.

Two years, packed four in the froggie minivan by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #6 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 08:31:17 AM EST

going from re-enactment to re-enactment, with minimal bathing facilities. Boy, there's no question about taking that choice (in USIa, we called them Deadheads, hippies and Phish Phans).

Stealing hippycode by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 08:35:12 AM EST

Fully GPL'd? For real, yo? Some nerve ...

----
Done.

Worse by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 09:21:20 AM EST

This, which is actually freely licensed (as opposed to Freely licensed). He could have just used it as-is, but instead he chose to try to hide its origins. Googling for the first #defined value found the original in short order.

He claimed that he'd stripped the copyright "accidentally" before trying to commit it, which is much like how I had planned to "accidentally" tell the original author that his code was being used, san-license, in a commercial product. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, one of our boss engineers also smelled a rat and caught it before it went in.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

About five years ago by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #17 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 10:42:40 AM EST

one of my friends decided to use (or rather 'adapt') Free hippycode in one of his products. It wasn't a large piece, but it was a significant one — the equivalent of a GPL'd carburettor in a closed-source car. I felt pretty uncomfortable about it as he told me point blank that's what they were doing and it felt like he'd told me straight because he was directly leveraging our friendship. He knew I'd go through it with nm or another symbol resolver (I was a freelance tester for him at the time) and figured I'd have more inhibition about whistleblowing if he mentioned it to my face. I just kept quiet about it in the short term (struggling start-up etc.) but when they started making bank I was about to tackle him about it again when the original developers of the GPL'd code public-domained the whole lot.

What your man did is even weirder. Jesus; if it's BSD/MIT/X-licensed, how hard is it to abide by the license terms / copyright notice? Those licenses are a gift. Play by the rules etc.

----
Done.
[ Parent ]

Try to think like a slacker by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #19 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 11:05:26 AM EST

Find code: ten minutes.
Strip copyright: thirty seconds.
Adapt code to fit in our existing codebase: one hour
Give status reports on "development" of solution, while playing retard chess online: two weeks.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Five: by yicky yacky (4.00 / 1) #20 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 11:24:15 AM EST

Get caught.
Six: Have your entire competence and lifestyle queried.
Seven: Become priest
Eight: Run into Big Tam
Nine: ????
Ten: Profit?

Gas Legs. Yeah. That works.

----
Done.
[ Parent ]

Uh oh... by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 2) #8 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 09:01:36 AM EST

Don't let Mr. lm find out about this sitting naked on a chair business. He'll be on the first flight out with a giant case of bleach and a duffel bag full of wash-cloth's.

Bacterium. It's all about the bacterium.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

Actually, all I want to point out by lm (2.00 / 0) #12 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 09:35:06 AM EST

That assertion that Mr. Borg sitting in an odour-free room contradicts the assertion that he is sitting with the fan blowing gently over his nude body. But then I discovered that he meant ``nude'' in a figurative sense IYKWIM.

On the other hand, he doesn't seem to get that leather is an absorbent material.

But I don't mind. I doubt I'll be sitting in that chair.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]

Aargh, cockscorch by Rogerborg (4.00 / 4) #14 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 09:38:53 AM EST

These Dell laptops can get a bit toasty.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

: ah, the lovely scent of roasting nuts by lm (4.00 / 2) #15 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 09:47:01 AM EST

odour free room indeed!
There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]

Organised religion by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #9 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 09:07:03 AM EST

Sun Myung Moon is the younger brother of Jesus you know. I read it on the internet, so it must be true.

: I know, Jim, I know. by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 09:35:53 AM EST

A question previously asked and answered.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

She's not barefoot. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 09:22:36 AM EST

If you notice that fine strip of hold going between big toe and just under the ankle, that's called a Manolo, and it cost you lots of money.

You better not be wearing pants! by me0w (2.00 / 0) #16 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 09:57:27 AM EST

It's Tuesday you know!

"There's really only one sexually related thing I'm good at: Producing incredibly volumous amounts of spooge on a regular basis." - ni

Do you people even know what nude means? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #18 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 11:01:44 AM EST

I'm wearing a Dell Latitude D600 and a smile.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

What happened to the cherries? by mrgoat (4.00 / 2) #21 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 11:41:33 AM EST

Years pass, things change, you end up living in Kansas. But the bag of dicks never leaves your side... - blixco
--top hat--
[ Parent ]

I'm not by paperdoll (4.00 / 2) #24 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 11:47:51 AM EST

sure I want to know what happened to the cherries!!

[ Parent ]

I need to know! by me0w (4.00 / 2) #25 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 11:51:01 AM EST

"There's really only one sexually related thing I'm good at: Producing incredibly volumous amounts of spooge on a regular basis." - ni
[ Parent ]

One perched on each nipple by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #27 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 12:14:48 PM EST

Left, right, and t'other one.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

: I have to go flick my bean now. by me0w (4.00 / 1) #30 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 02:20:32 PM EST

"There's really only one sexually related thing I'm good at: Producing incredibly volumous amounts of spooge on a regular basis." - ni
[ Parent ]

Ob plspstpxkthx. by Alice Pulley (4.00 / 2) #23 Tue Jul 18, 2006 at 11:47:25 AM EST

Also, +1FPHOTHOTHOT!!111!!

--

'But they're adults and perfectly capable of working it out themselves. And if not, well, fuck em.' - Nebbish '06.

Yo, Blair | 33 comments (33 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback